Struggles and a Separatist State of Mind

My radical feminist journey has led me to evolving into this intermediate stage of just a radical feminist to full on separatist. It’s rarely discussed the type of lifestyles that radical feminists and all rebels of the patriarchy, hags, lesbians, etc. live and the struggles they continue to face.

Radical feminism has completely transformed me. I find it incredibly difficult to even view the world in the same light as I used to. My struggles from before still try to surface though, and that’s something my separatism seems to prevent from happening.  I believe this is due to the fact that I have no male friends, and limit my interaction with males on a refined basis. Since I go to a school where I am forced to interact with males in group settings, this is usually the time I engage with males. I know how to be entertaining and put on a fake smile. I also know how not to anger them, and to avoid possible conflicts.

Not having a lot of males in my life is very refreshing. I used to be a girl who had only male friends, to now zero, which is great! Male influence in my life is limited socially, but I do know that there are the hidden males around me that I need to watch out for. Like the media, academics, religion, etc. Otherwise, I don’t have to sit around and be with a boring piece of shit and talk about shit that only relates to him and do things that only seems to feed his empty desire, drinking, drugs, etc. But I still am struggling with cocooning into a full-time separatist in certain levels.

 

Bodily Constraints

I am someone who looks in the mirror everyday. With patriarchy, men are constantly dictating what women’s bodies should look like, and they are constantly advertising that we should be as thin,as white,( in America that is, femininity mandates differ geographically) and as feminized as possible. A woman’s body is meant for male viewing. He wants to see something that doesn’t look human, to confirm his stupid beliefs that women are fuck objects. Feminization and beauty practices are about looking passive. It’s about becoming a sado-masochistic vessel and advertising that to men.  It’s about meeting a projection basically. She paints her eyes, and starves herself because she’s supposed to like pain, and therefore she must want to be fucked. That’s why men push beauty practices on us, hence the name “beauty” which is actually irrelevant. Also men HATE the female body because they are terrified of us.

I still do pettily judge myself, and battle with urges to call myself ugly and fat. Just because I’ve felt that way since I was a child. When you’ve been programmed a certain way it’s hard to de-program. But otherwise because I know that I actually am a human being, that looking “pretty” is only for men and is bullshit myth that harms women, I gracefully don’t. I could sit on here and give a sob story, but that’s where my separatist state of mind kicks in. This divide from the mainstream patriarchal world with truth. The truth always prevails over easing into harmful myths with me, and hopefully that applies to all disappointment.

I’m pretty sure that there are other feminists dealing with the same struggles of their appearance, whatever it might be. My advice is this. Submitting to beauty myths is constraining your freedom and only benefiting men. It’s always better to grow. All women are beautiful and beauty is not measured on the surface. This is something all women know but we are too scared to admit that we think the hairy fat goddess is hot! If you’re really down, think of it this way. All your attempts to look “attractive” for men are self-defeating, for men will never care for women, will always hate them, even in their most feminized and refined forms. In fact, men will rape and kill women regardless of looks. No appearance will truly clear any woman from being raped, killed, and abused by men. Also men are dangerous? Who really wants their attention or approval anyway. We are strong WOMYN. And we are not dependent on them for survival.

Now, never hold contempt for women who conform to beauty practices, it’s purely male socialization’s fault, not her’s for whatever her reasons. And remember this woman is a victim of patriarchal female standards. We don’t need to blame other women for what they do to themselves. Women are womankind!

If you still hate the way you look, here’s a real mind changer. Beauty is diversity. Everyone is born with truly unique features, and if everyone was meant to look the same than that would be stupid. So why try to look like something we are not? Embrace you’re completely unique human body, because it’s your’s and nobody will ever have it. Men can’t value diversity, they need hierarchy and genocide because they detest themselves to the fullest. So why try to live the destructive male way, when you can adopt the empowering female way of diversity and self-love? It’s way more beautiful, meaningful, truthful, and real to accept, and love oneself, and not bow down to other’s standards.

Destructive Female Friends

Another thing about having a separatist state of mind, is not being able to detest or hate women.I truly can’t hate or dislike any woman. Yes I may find many woman annoying, destructive, and unwise, but I always hold my heart out for them because these characteristics are due to men’s abuse, control, and influence on them.

The problem dealing with destructive females when your radical feminism doesn’t seem to be reaching them, and you don’t have any other radical feminist friends. All of my friends are totally colonized, and patriarchal minded. They judge other women on appearances, put males before their friends and themselves, and are drowning in the poisoned stream of heterosexuality. All of their actions seem to end at males. This is discouraging, I try to engage them into my understand but they don’t seem to grasp it, and are actually very annoyed at me.

I’ve left friends behind, completely stopped talking to them. Sometimes it’s just not worth having my beliefs compromised. It’s frustrating and sometimes the things they say can really get into my head. My rule is, when your non-radical feminist friends become a threat to your sanity abandon them. That’s for me, but I know that other radical feminists probably just don’t talk to non-radical feminist women.  Which is absolutely fine.

What sucks about having friends who aren’t feminist is that you see so much destructive behavior going on that makes you sick, and they are completely oblivious to it. For them it’s normal to judge other women’s outfits or appearance, for them it’s normal to gossip and talk about “cute” boys (ew). It’s apparently funny women women are being abused by men ( World Star Hiphop generation/ Vines generation) It’s disturbing. And sometimes it really gets to me. If it gets too out of control soon, then I will just stop talking with everybody. It’s way more dignifying to be the loner with no friends, than to be stuck with friends that aren’t really friends. Even though I try this and destructive friends always seem to chase after me when I distance myself.

Heterosexual Hiccups

I can now consider myself to be a non-heterosexual, and a possible lesbian. But the thing is I still do sometimes have visions of PIV and feelings when watching a movie where people are having sex. I know this is not my fault, it’s due to years of heterosexual conditioning, but it’s slowly wearing off.

Since I am a woman, I can control my bodily responses and even condition them away. When I saw erect penises I used to become aroused, but now when I see them I feel nothing but disgust and offense. I see the penis as nothing but an ugly deformity of skin that is inferior and dangerous. It’s a weapon that needs to stay away from the public eye. Hence, when I was aroused to the penis, I always felt shame and uneasiness. I felt like my arousal wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right. My body had become used to penises penetrating it, so my mind triggered sexual arousal whenever I saw them to prepare for it. This was a response to fear.A feeling of dread still came over me whenever I saw an erect member because I knew there was a good chance that it was going to try to invade me. I know this because I was never aroused by penises before, until after my first PIV experience.

When I see naked women ( not pornified women), I experience arousal, but it is accompanied by emotions of warmth, love,attraction and appreciation, not by fear, loathing and guilt as with men. The very idea of women is attractive, and dignifying.

Dating men is something my mind is so far out of ever being able to do unconsciously again. I am a conscious, breathing female, aware of men’s lies and evil. I may have my occasional PIV flashbacks but going back to that is thinkable, but incomputable with real hard earned logic and reason I have built up. My mind won’t let me.

Writing about this helps to heal though.  Establishing the known truth is hard, when in the foreground the world is telling you the opposite. When in the real world you deal with the  different responses from men, all of which just remind you of your subordinate status.

Loneliness

Lonesomeness get’s me about once a week. Constantly dreaming of a cuckold of radical feminist sisters, and reaching out with disappointment to find those dreams are holographs. I am okay with being a lone soldier, but sometimes I do wish I knew someone like me. It would make things easier, infuse hope, and motivation. And then maybe my mind wouldn’t drift into thoughts of crossing over to the other side. For it is so easy to abandon the truth and seep into a slow suicide by giving myself to the patriarchy.

While it seems the patriarchy and men are constantly chasing after me, trying to get me back into their traps, into serving them,  sometimes we think of giving up.But I know there is no safety or satisfaction with just lying down. There is nothing to be gained, nothing to be learned, but humiliation and the loss of dignity, self,freedom and respect.Nothing to do but die.

It’s either fly or die. And I chose to fly. Fly above everyone else, no matter how solo the path.I find myself lately wondering off into other people’s lives and comparing them to my own. It is here where I first recognize that I may be alone. The contrast between my life and theirs is so vastly different. Parties, friends, connections, jobs, money, trips, etc. these things are way far out of importance to me. But what I realize now, is that I never ever felt it was wrong to be me, I never felt lonely, until someone told me I was. I never felt lonely until I began to think about the concept of loneliness. Women in patriarchy are lonely souls, devoid of honest connection, and forced into servitude to attempt to ease their loneliness. Loneliness stems from male-induced self hatred and a woman’s loneliness is only widened through pleasing men. Men are the root of loneliness, projecting their imperfections on to women, and making women feel they need them or they will be lonely. So when people jumpy to the conclusion that I am lonely, they are drawing from the patriarchal mythology of the lonely untouched woman who is the worst state a woman can be because she is without man, therefore without significance. A clear myth created to trick women into servitude.

Being alone doesn’t equate with loneliness, when being alone gives you strength and leads to productivity in your life.So as I drift as an outsider away from the guilds of civilization, I realize how lucky I am. I am someone who stopped to ponder the world, and gained the powers to see what it really was, instead of being consumed by it. I see patriarchy.I see men for what they really are and I can identify that. That’s a gift, and a hard earned one that is. In fact it takes a life’s journey to grow wiser. Something you will not find most people of this generation attainting to.

To end on an inspiring note, what struggles as a radical feminist do you still battle and need reconfirmation with? The possibility of female-to-female healing is endless.

 

 

 

 

 

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Planed Parenthood aggghhh…

So Planned Parenthood seems to be on it’s usual business of  sending it’s advocates to remind us that it is our duty as women to financially support this organization in providing “saftey nets” for us when men rape us, and we’re a bunch of conservative stupid right-wing twats if we don’t. And by advocates I mean males, mansplaining males, who think they know all about what women need/want, and are heroic knights who are taking risks by standing out in the streets assaulting pedestrains who are just trying to walk by, and possibly being threatened by the right wing Christian man parked next to him. Way to go Moron!

I would know, for  and my friend, were guilt tricked/threatened in to stopping and giving some Planned Parenthood dude the time and energy to listen to him mansplaining things we were already aware of, and facts that were obviously tinted with political bias. According to him the world is divided into two groups, the pro-women liberal leftists, and the anti-women right wing. Our problem is that we need to be more like Europe in indoctrinating our kids at  younger ages into PIV as sex, and how to have “safe” PIV.

I of course being the militant feminist I am said ” Why not just tell people not to have sex?”, and of course my radical ideas were laughed off because I don’t think he had the brain power to grasp I was serious or that my solution was seriously the truth. My solution is the only true solution to saving women’s lives, but because of that it is counter-to Planned Parenthood’s entire existence, which requires women to endure rape, abuse, and violence. But my solution doesn’t disaprove of women being able have free reproductive health care. It just destroys the root of the problem.

I HATE Planned Parenthood. Yep, I do.  But I’ll admit if it wasn’t for Planned Parenthood’s I services I would probably have to pay for emergency contraception, seek it from my doctor, or possibly have to undergo an abortion with my health care provider. Being that when I was having piv I was under the age of 17. What I’m not thankful for is how EC made me not have my period for two months, and the pill gave me eczema, cramps, nausea, and a very irritable dark mood about everything I was doing to my reproductive system.

These aren’t solutions to the fatal symptoms of PIV, they are just alternative symptoms. You won’t get pregnant, but I’ll get ovarian cysts with an IUD. All the message Planned Parenthood is trying to say is, women are fuckholes and we need to modify/destroy our bodies in order to please men. Because it’s all about men’s right to PIV!
The problem is that “we” ( when they say we they say men and women ironically) aren’t educating our youth enough about safe sex. I find this to be a bunch of balooney. As if men are a bunch of innocent children who don’t know that PIV causes pregnancy, transmission of STDS, and harm.

The idea of “safe sex” is obviously bull. A woman is never safe when she is being stabbed by a penis.  She is being used for someone else’s disposal. She is being held down or pushed on top and forced to be a dick receptacle. This is purely dangerous, no matter if he’s wearing two condoms! It’s dangerous because every second she looses her self-worth, her sanity, independence, and submits to the demands of her male-defined purpose to be a male’s flesh hole.

PIV is NEVER safe. The physical risks of having flesh ripping into and stabbing your narrow organs can cause burns, cuts, bruises, and infections itself ( oh but planned parenthood has a solution for that right, unnatural lube). Then the mental/psycological trauma is indescribable. Being raped over and over again, and being told that rape is natural, your duty, fucking is love, and your sole worth to a man ( who is apparently the center of culture,society,humanity lol!) is pure mindfuck. And it most definitely results in serious mental health problems, like depression, low self esteem, emotional instability, PTSD, etc. Those symptoms lead to crazy actions like suicide, self mutilation, bad habits, drugs, etc.The disassociation involved with PIV is also a serious psychological issue and can clearly result in the mentioned mental health disorders.

Men and PIV have resulted in extreme trauma in my life in which i could not explain.Organization’s like Planned Parenthood only encouraged me in continuing to be fucked by my abusers, and disabled me from identifying them as abusers. Planned Parenthood is a charity for men actually. It helps men not have to pay for their girlfriend’s abortion or child support, and helps them to continue to have greater access to rape women because Planned Parenthood will take care of the symptom’s his property secretly faces from him raping her.

Conclusively, it puts all the responsibility of taking care of PIV and it’s symptoms on women, and allows the male to walk away careless and fixed. It’s a charity for men, it saves men money, makes men money, and relieves stress or “worry”( men aren’t worried about women they really just are out for their own asses) or inconveniences that the man may experience from using a woman as a wank instrument.

 

 

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Sonia Johnson…Lifestyle Activism?

It seems that I’ve done a longstretch of inactivity .I am trying to stay committed to writing because  I care deeply about radical feminist transformation. I often wonder, how much of my understandings and knowledges really benefit me and play out in the real world. I’ve come to the conclusion, that me knowing the truth in my life has liberated me beyond all cares and worries of women under patriarchy to a great extent. I’m not perfect, I sometimes fake laugh along when my friends participate in internalised misogynistic behavior, laughing at/judging other women, etc., but otherwise my own internalised misogyny has decreased dramatically.That’s why at heart I am a true loner. Finding total peacefulness and beauty in solitude dreaming of a the gyno-essence of a would be kin of mystical radical feminist lesbians. Separation for me is a mini-liberation from a patriarchal dogma women are submerged in.

Why haven’t I been active online lately? Well, besides from being completely consumed in schoolwork and non-blogging projects that do have to do with radical feminism ( which is good), I haven’t had time to sit at my computer and write out my radical feminist analysis of the world. Partly because I’ve been spending so much time outside of my comfort zone, literally in spaces where I am exposed to men and their violence, I’ve had trouble concentrating, and spent more time dealing with just trying to survive. But there is something else, this past week I had watched a mesmerizing talk by Sonia Johnson about radical feminist activism.

It was heart-warming and very inspiring. I felt everything she said was truthful. So I’ve been trying to spend this entire week with a strong sense of self loving and self-honoring behavior/thinking.  And yes, I have gone way FARTHER out of my mind, and started to gradually live as if I don’t need any man in my life.This week has been stress free even though I’ve had many reasons to be stressed out. I’ve found it harder to bash other women or even let men ruin my day. I’m still working progressively, for some reason I still battle with flashbacks of PIV experiences, which is damaging to my sexual energy. On the other hand my self belief doesn’t make me beat myself up about it, because I know that I can heal and get over it. I am someone who has suffered from long term mental illness and this week I’ve found it harder to succumb to it after watching her talk.

The big question about Sonia Johnson’s talk is whether she is promoting lifestyle activism.  Some can she say she is assuming that the victimized has power and can change an entire system through their individual lives. Well I say radical feminist transformation is different than lifestyle activism. Lifestyle activism is andro-centric, and stemming from a bunch of supposed leftists who are actually capitalists. Lifestyle politics always brings to mind recycling batteries, dumpster diving, living off of solar panels, and shopping at thrift stores. Though there are more complex examples, lifestyle activism is obviously liberal, meaning it’s not actually useful in dismantling power at all, but just interested in negotiating, navigating, and rearranging the appearance of power.

Radical feminism is entirely different. Because a woman’s oppression/suffering is rooted in her relationships with men as boyfriends, bosses, husbands, brothers, fathers, “friends”, pimps, pastors, etc. the act of separating herself from these men and ending these relationships is a radical act because it breaks their parasitism from her. Yes, only a handful of women do this, but them doing it is radical because women’s detachment from men completely underminds/ hurts men’s power. In fact if all women just separated from men and stopped having male children, patriarchy would end, and men would probably kill each other off.

Women’s slave status, is the main, and direct way in which patriarchy is built and maintains power. So when a woman revolts against this, refuses PIV,  separates from males, and decolonizes male-ness and andro-centric ways of being from her mind this is a radical action, meaning it’s confronting and going against the roots of and origins of power. Does recycling batteries hurt power in any way? No, it greatly benefits it.  Primarily, it’s still promoting consumerism and this dependency on patriarchal economic systems as inevitable and natural, which are innately destructive and unsustainable forces. Battery recycling is also economically inconvenient, recycling plants are environmentally destructive, and dependent on harmful materials/technologies from a vast number of industries that are built on unsustainable practices. Just to back up my claims.

Much of what Sonia Johnson talking about how patriarchy is rooted within the self is true.Women first have to decolonize their inner selves for radical feminist transformation to occur. That’s how it always happens, women questioning internalized dogma from patriarchy, changing their minds, trying to help other women, and hopefully walking away.

It’s not the same as male liberal lifestyle activism, because it actually benefits women,  and many other differences being that is actually understands that society is run by classes, a primal understanding, which lifestylists  can’t fathom . Radical feminism is also emotionally,spiritually, intellectually, and sexually beneficial women. While lifestylism obviously can only benefit men because it maintains their power and gives them even more power because people think their are pioneers of a better greener future, and are out for the good of others.

I had to clear that up, because I am someone who knows that feminism is nothing like any leftist activism.  It’s radical in analysis, but otherwise so far away from the radical left, you can’t even make comparisons.

So what does this have to do with Sonia Johnson, everything. Her advocation and trying to live free instead of trying to break into the gates of patriarchy to reach men is incredible. But it made me think of lifestylism, so I came on here to clear up that this is nothing to do with lifestylism.

Is Sonia Johnson saying more than this? She is saying many things, that I will probably take me a while to understand. I would just like to share this with other women.

Also, It seems like radical feminist thinking is fluent? Many of topics I’ve been posting about/ thinking about posting about are already being covered by other feminists at the same time? Like witchwind’s series  on intersectionality, hoorah?

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March 23, 2014 · 4:01 pm

The Only unrecognized patriarchal institution…

When thought about clearly, there isn’t any brilliant reason that feminists should be against political lesbianism and defend heterosexuality. When I was a heterosexual feminist I had no real reason for sleeping with men besides the fact that I was lonely and thought  a boyfriend would add “excitement” to my life, was under the heterosexual spell that I needed this man to want me no matter how much I hated him, and I thought it was my biological duty to fuck. I also had been trained through pornography to worship fucking and male sexuality. Disgusting as it sounds, that is the truth.

But hey, if this doesn’t change your mind about heterosexuality, the following is a zine article that clearly sums up every question you ever had about Heterosexual feminists vs. Political Lesbians. It’s not perfect, but this piece gives some good arguments for political lesbianism that are rare to see in modern day feminism.

It is viewable below

“Love Your Enemy”?

I plan to do a post where I respond to this zine in order to bring it in to the next century. Enjoy!

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Radical Feminism and Race: Revisited pt 1.

I’ve been mulling over this topic for a while, after me and my friend experienced consistent sexual harassment with racial undertones from a bloke the other day. I wonder, would you call it racialized-misogyny or just misogyny?  I think all misogyny is racialized actually.This white dude harasses many women, regardless of skin tone. But that day he made it apparent that he would target us specifically because of our skin color. I was very uncomfortable with all instances of it. There was nothing I could do because I was in school. I told him to politely fuck off and just hoped he would go away somewhere, he didn’t take me seriously. Me and my friend just sat back and endured , my friend was actually flattered by the lies and racist and sexist comments spewing out of his mouth. I, being me, said straight out that his comments were offensive.

When white men, and practically all men, predate after women who are outside of patriarchal beauty standards as in: they are either fat, black, or just generally unattractive ( not to confuse this with women who literally don’t even try to look attractive for men or conform to beauty standards because she’s not interested in men at all, because that’s different), it’s because they simply think they can because these women are the ultimate disposable surplus of pussy. To them these women are easy to conquest, they feel they are entitled to them.

Now, in my experience specifically with race, when white men or any men go after women of color it’s simply because they CAN.As most many fetishize white women, there are the men who cannibalize the black female also. Now here’s where a major difference between a white women’s experience of misogyny and women of color’s experience lies. A white women’s body ( one that isn’t fat and conforms to patriarchal beauty standards), is seen as a pure, beautiful, soft toy which men equate with a soft, complicit, passive, subserviant manner. Meaning that this brand of women is the women that men are more likely to partner up with, or turn into their long-term domestic slaves ( marriage), because they are more likely to be “good girls”. This is total disgusting bullshit, but this is how men misinterpret, objectify, hate, and classify women’s bodies. These male definitions are obviously against reality, because most white women I know spend large amounts of time, stress, and pain trying to live up to these standards men project on to them and failing. With women of color, men see their bodies as hypersexual, dirty ( as in sexually kinky), exotic exhibitions, meaning they see women of color as always sexually available, promiscuous, bad girls, angry etc. Men treat women of color, specifically white men, as the fuckholes they don’t really commit to. Women of color are more likely to be the hookups, the disposable pussy, because men project a beast-like sexual vessel on to the brown body. Enacting violence on women of color is higher of that of violence against white women simply because our bodies are seen as cheaper meat that exists to be thrown away because apparently women of color exist to be bedwarmers and violence is easy to commit against us because we are disobedient. It also explains why women of color are more likely to live in poverty, and be prostituted because women who fit closer to patriarchal beauty norms have more mobility, and more likely to get married to richer wealthier men.

Now these categorizations change under circumstances, as in there are plenty of white male and black female interacial couples, but the truth comes down to the reality that he is dating her because she is accessible to him, because of her skin color, ALWAYS. This is the only reason that interacial coupling exist between women of color and white men exists because men think they CAN.

Like race, there’s many other way’s that men hate and cannibalize the female body like fatness and disability. I remember the terrible scene in the movie “Kids” where the main character talks about the exhilarating experience of raping a disabled girl, because he had complete control over her. I also know that fat women experience terrible objectification.

All in all, what i know is that the differences in women’s experiences is definitely degree.All women experience rape, objectification, self hatred, and violence from men. Even the prettiest women get acid thrown in their faces if they so much as make a slight step from their patriarchal projections.  I still find it difficult to see the differences worth separation between this white beauty conforming woman getting her face burned off by her boyfriend, and this black woman being set on fire by her ex.  The only meaningful difference I can see is that obviously this extreme violence is more likely to happen to women who aren’t as protected, impoverished, disabled, non-white etc. basically of lower class.

No woman is protected. There is nothing a woman can really do to stop violence from men. Even dressing like a man and as manly as possible, or being the most passive polite gender conforming male loving slave and doing everything they say.As a black female w/ mixed blood, men will always treat and see me differently than a whiter female, but still as female. What i’ve come to understand is that all the years women spend trying to conform to gender and please men is primarily based off of a belief that them doing these things might save them from violence. An anorexic doesn’t eat because she fears the violence from men and others from being fat. Black women relax their hair because they fear the violence from others from having tightly coiled hair. But women are never truly protected. I remember as a young girl, I lost a dramatic amount of weight and straightened my hair, I felt this empty bliss when my friends would all of a sudden didn’t see me as ugly, and boys started to prey after me in a relationships. But I was absolutely miserable, and felt out of control. I felt like I was dead,  and I was the property of my crush and my family and “friends”. But it still felt like less violence than being beaten up and name called for being chubby with cornrows, simply because I had already died.

Women hating themselves is not above love for men, or because they are crazy, it’s about mitigating violence that they experience with a female body. It’s about self-protection, not achieving goals, being successful, making positive change, bettering themselves, or looking beautiful at all. Women wouldn’t compete for men, or try to look beautiful if men didn’t threaten their lives for not.

furthermore…

I previously made a post about racism and one commenter accused me of not understanding race. I obviously understand race more than a lot of people. What i’m not going to do is to lie and say that women of color should feel for our brothers. I am sick of that. Black men have done NOTHING for us, in fact they are the ones that contribute to most violence against us. Men of color are in the boys club.

Men of color blame women of color for their experiences of race. They beat, rape, and kill us because we are the inferior woman in their minds.  When have black men EVER cared for or not been violent against black women? Never ever. Black men, act like men, because black men are men, and all men are inherently fucked up. Under patriarchy, men like to scapegoat other men as violent and not themselves, seeing as it is white men who are the top patriarchs, but if it was black men, they’d probably just have it the other way around.

I’ve experienced racism from white men and watched black men call me crazy and that I was wrong. But when they see a black men getting arrested they are so quick to cry racism and expected black women to be their mules and supporters.

What’s really brought me to this today is whether I should identify as a black woman or a woman?  I don’t mind indentifying with either, because both are apart of who I am and my experience, even though they are assigned classifications.I’m not that in to identity politics, because I am a radical feminist. I believe in  practice.

I know it’s pretty evident that there is a lack of woman of color in radical feminism and even fake radical feminism. And It’s pretty obvious to me is that many women of color are terrified of experiencing damage from white women, which happens, or are just too busy trying to survive patriarchy. I get this. But claims that radical feminism is racist lack evidence. Yes there are obvious examples of white radical feminists not really including women of color, and there probably is a lot of lack of meaningful discussion on race and what is has to do with patriarchy missing. But radical feminism as racist is anti-thetical  to a radical analysis because race stems from patriarchy.

Here is one of my favorite articles about radical feminism and race, written by Anna Lee, because it talks about interacial misogyny and white lesbians trying to identify with white males.

http://www.feminist-reprise.org/docs/leelovesep.htm

Next I will probably do  post on blackness, identity, etc.

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THIS IS WRITING and the word MAN

Grammatically incorrect. Vocabularily retarded. Spelling nonconformist. Miscreant of the academic format regime.

THIS IS WRITING. THIS IS WAR.

Everyday, the struggle to let my words be free. Let my language be written. A struggle for women, the underclass to reach out to one another within the confines of the oppressor.

We conform everyday to get what we need, but with my words compliance will not succeed. 

I think you get the point. I start a new idea with a break even after one sentence. I let things flow to my liking, and my thoughts.

Because that is honesty to me. That is how I convey my most raw and honest messages. It doesn’t have to be pre-packaged, refined, dressed up, and combed out for the tastes of Academia. 

Patriarchal dogma succeeds in the fact that it’s language concedes it’s mythology. Reading an academic and “intelligent” sounding article from a white male professor sounds like the valid truth, when it’s just conveying patriarchal ideology. As compared to the words of a black lower middle class radical feminist who’s understanding of her and other women’s reality is “imagined”, “overemotional” and “paranoid”. What can I know when I don’t like to put spaces after sentences?

I’m just a kid, ooh, ageism. Eighteen. I couldn’t know a thing.

But no, this is my life. I am a female. A survivor of abuse. A human being. There is no belief in some god that is doing all of this. Nothing but the concrete, observed, experienced reality of global male domination.

When I write it is fighting back. Fighting back against all of patriarchy, with the reorganization of the written word to represent female. Radical Feminist writing is about bringing to surface the reality of white male capitalist oligarchical dominance that is invisible within it’s own framework. Because it’s been made to be accepted as normal, and made to be accepted as truth, by the male oligarchs and the rest of men. So we can’t see it. Women feel it. Men fucking know it. But we pretend it doesn’t exist.

Radical Feminism is about facing the truth and identifying the culprits, and working towards liberation of females from them (men).

Do I really need to say culprits? It’s men. We’ve sugarcoated it for too long, after being called “man haters” and “exclusionary”.

There is something very stomach-jolting, inquisitive, and scary about throwing around the word “man” “male” and “men” so often.

For one, it upsets men because it’s identifying THE FUCKING TRUTH, and it makes them uncomfortable separating male from human. They don’t like to see themselves as a class. They don’t like to be identified because that disrupts their plug of power.

It hurts their “feelings” ( erections) to say the word men to often, and especially within a context of blaming them for the violence they inflict on others which they like to isolate as unique and characterizable events that are outside of patriarchy, like rape, sexual assault, class, etc.

For liberal men they are so stuck with plugging women’s brains with the whole “individual” and “identity as important” bullshit, that blaming men hurts their individual liberty ( it’s funny how my example proves individualism clearly works for men only, another thing that radical feminism does) which enrages them because the individuals males are supposed to above society, and not function as a class.

Faux Radical men get mad at the game of “I spy… MALES ARE DESTROYING THE WORLD!”, because they are so good at hiding behind gender, and their highly research big book understandings of everything from globalization to the industrial prison complex as institutions of the real enemy capitalism.

Whatever the case, constantly singling out men calls attention to men, which they hate. They get so butthurt. But what if women left 2000 word hate comments on MRA blogs and sent death threats to youtubers who make fun of women’s parts? They’d just frame us as crazy.

When it’s obviously not us that are crazy, it’s men. Men do those things. They freak out when someone holds them accountable for the actual harmful things, they actually fucking do women, and are unable to take responsibility for their actions. Patriarch is OBVIOUS, male power is OBVIOUS. If not, then why they so fuckin maadddd?

What constantly identifying the oppressors as men does in an even more meaningful light is that it empowers many women. It gives women their humanity back, it clears their minds. Fuck, identifying men helped me to understanding and identify violence and oppression way better. Every time I say men, I know that I am getting somewhere. I’m not hiding behind capitalism or civilization, the state, gender and even saying patriarchy can be indirect because many women haven’t grasped that men are perpetuators of patriarchy and it rose because of men. And by saying patriarchy it makes it seem like men and women lived humanly and equally one time. And it also can mean that women can be the patriarchy too. No. I’m surrounded by women who are patriarchal, but none are the patriarchy, they are simply victims of it. And I know their ways are just projections of male abuse.

That’s why I will continue to say men. Patriarchy is the system in which we live under, and men are the parasitic creators and sustainers of it. 

So let’s say MEN, and separate females from men. Females are not going down for the plight of MALE destruction of this world as men want and trick us in to doing.  Let’s say MALES, and re-identify as females. And let’s say incomplete chromosomes, to associate female with the complete upright original standard template of real-ass human being. 

I identify with, love, care for, have patience for, and see women in my dreams. I have psychic connections to women, ( thinking about a random woman and then seeing her 5 minutes later.) Only women. 

 

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I hate Valentines Day and some lesbian afterthoughts

It’s February 13th, the day before probably one of the worst American holidays of the year. Valentine’s Day. The day when male ownership of women and terrorization of women is celebrated. The day where men are given the national encouragement to coax, bribe, pay, and nag women into romantically and sexually serving them, and remind women of the nature of their relations.  Through lingerie, flowers, chocolate, and other commodities men will try to trick women into being their sexual slaves.

Romantic love, is nothing more than a bunch of psuedo-thoughtful and psuedo-artsy things that men do to comb women into submission. It’s all lies, no love whatsoever involved. Romance is manipulation cloaked in kisses and heart shapes.What’s sickening about Valentine’s day is how your forced to bear through that shit. I hate seeing crowds of women fall victim to longing and expectation from males. I hate how people try to participate in this holiday as if to make it about all types of love. This is harmful because it assumes that romance and Valentine’s day has ANYTHING to do with love, which it doesn’t.

It’s purpose is to a) feed corporations/make men more money b) further terrorize women into heterosexuality with fear of being left out c) give men the expectation that women will give in to his rape fantasy if he buys her some chocolate or does other valentiny things. d) maim women who don’t have romantic partners into self-hatred.d) encourage materialism within women.

And that’s why I HATE valentine’s day. It’s a celebration of male’s predation of women.  It’s a bunch of capitalist consumer-driven, misogynistic, anti-love bullshit!

Love is not coaxing someone into letting you rape them. Love is not lying. Love is not penis in vagina intercourse. Love is not cheap commodities bought at the expense of the lives of others. Love is not dressing in lingerie to look like prey.

Love is not anything a male is able to give or feel. Males dominate and control. They don’t love.

Love is only something women share between each other. It can be absent or with romance. But otherwise inter-woman affection, kindness, caring, understanding, support, and patience is love. Only women can make love to one another.

I’ve learned to embrace my underlying desires and potential to love only women, including romantically and sexually. I don’t identify as a lesbian, because I find that i get to blindly caught up in the liberal identity is everything myth. And I feel identity politics are useless. I am not all just lesbian. Yes, I am sexually/romantically attracted to women, but the entire lesbian concept is a classification stemming from the patriarchy which enforces heterosexuality, and sexualities defined by the sex of the person one is attracted to. So I am not going to adopt a patriarchal concept of identity, because in doing that I am adopting the unwritten patriarchal rules of how I should act and see women. I am not going to ghettoize myself for the patriarchy, and perform. I am a full human being, and radical feminism is something that is in the forefront of my life and something I should more appropriately identify with.

Another problem I have with identifying as lesbian is that the term lesbian is virtually useless in differentiating oneself against those in power. Lesbianism has been 100% constructed by the patriarchy. First, in creating a class out of women who have had or desire sexual activity with women, and oppressing them. Making that aspect of their lives the most defining, and forcing it to mimic heterosexuality. And then you have now a female identity in which women hate women, fuck women, manipulate, and basically act like men towards women. That’s why I disassociate myself from getting caught up with lesbian as an identity and the lesbian community. I can’t relate to the women on the L Word as much as I can’t relate to the real life lesbians I know.

Now political lesbianism is totally different. Political lesbianism should be a practice. And in that practice there should be radical guidelines on how to do it. I don’t think there has ever been any established written rules to political lesbianism. In the understanding of what political lesbianism is, here is what I think it should act out.

  • Women who practice political lesbianism should reject all concepts of romance, and love fabricated by the patriarchy.Like for one thing, basing their attraction and value of women on their looks -As in how well they emulate patriarchal beauty ideals. That’s misogyny, and this is very present in the non-radical lesbian community and culture. I don’t know any lesbian who doesn’t judge women on looks and objectify those who look “hot” or “fuckable”. 
  • Love does not mean control or domination. This leads to automatic failure and violence in a relationship.  For example, men get paranoid at their partners establishing a little bit or freedom or independence like talking to other men.  Lesbians who fall into heterosexual patterns often play out these roles of fear of loss of control, dominion over the other partner, codependency, obsession, and other abusive behaviors.
  • Political lesbianism is based off of embracing an underlying love of women as human beings. Not fucktoys, maids, servants, objects, or any subhuman definitions by men. This is what distinguishes political lesbians from just lesbians. Just lesbians tend to exploit women like men do. Being a lesbian does not mean you love women. You can be the most patriarchal, male-pleasing, high-heels wearingest non-feminist and still be a lesbian. I’ll be clearer, lesbian doesn’t equal feminist. What differentiates us political lesbians from lesbians is that we think our love for women transcends romance and sex, and have a holistic love of women- rejecting all of the myths about women created by the patriarchy.  
  • A relationship should not be emotionally, sexually, or materialistically exploitative. Relationships between women should be mutual and equal. They should evolve around sharing, communion, and respect for one another as free beings.
  • Sex is should incorporate spiritual connection, sharing, appreciation, listening, learning, and reciprocal pleasure. 

I’m interested in what sex would be like in a female culture. Sex would be free of sado-masochism, disease, hurt, and harm of women. Sex would not involved any penetration or risks. It would not leave us feeling empty and used up afterwards. It would not turn women into cattle.

I’m dying to find out, and while I’m still around on this planet, I hope to participate in relationships with women and maybe even sexual ones that aren’t destructive.

But otherwise I’m still here learning and trying to put together the pieces of a lost female existence. Instructions of how to live, relate, think, and create that were lost with the coming of the male and patriarchy.

 

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